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The Drama of Being a Child, by Alice Miller
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The first publication of Drama of Being a Child and of this 1997 edition are separated by fifteen years of experience - the author's experience with her own self-therapy and with other recent therapy methods, and finally her knowledge of the life histories of the several thousand readers who have written to her. The research into childhood she has undertaken in this period has led to further fine-tuning of her earlier findings, as is ocumented and illustrated here with an abundance of examples. The author examines the consequences of repression at personal and social levels, the causes of the physical and psychological harm done to children and how this can be prevented, and finally the new methods at our disposal for dealing with the consequences of infant traumas.
- Sales Rank: #889160 in Books
- Published on: 1995-04-27
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.76" h x .47" w x 5.08" l, .32 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 176 pages
Review
Rare and compelling in its compassion and its unassuming eloquence...her examples are so vivid and so ordinary they touch the hurt child in us all NEW YORK MAGAZINE
Language Notes
Text: English (translation)
Original Language: German
About the Author
Alice Miller lives in France. For more than twenty years she taught and practised psychoanalysis. In 1973, due to her spontaneous painting she discovered her childhood history. Now, she radically questions the validity of psychoanalytic theories. As a result, in 1988 she resigned from the International Psychhoanalytical Association and, in 1995, revised 'The Drama of being a Child'.
Most helpful customer reviews
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
This book was a life changer for me... It gave me hope when all was lost.
By WanderingK1ng
This was the first book that I've ever read that told me what I felt and experienced is real and meaningful. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family as most do these days, I have been struggling for many years with depression, thoughts of suicide, and emptiness. Until I discovered Alice Miller and her wonderful work. She details the trauma that childhoods can cause, often unintentionally, that carry into our adult lives shaping who we are.
What a relief when Alice was describing feelings and experiences. It's like she was seeing through the eyes of my childhood! What a moment! I wept with tears of joy. The feeling of simply being seen, felt, and validated is one that cannot be put into words. This book gave me the hope and courage to press on. Thanks to Alice Miller, and her work upon the planet, I can happily move forward reconnecting with the lost self within. What a gift!
Please honor yourself by picking up this book. Anyone who struggles with their life and pain, this book could a real life changer!
76 of 81 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent book!
By Hsiao Yu Chen
I just finished reading the book and am still in the process of digesting it. Frequently, the book pin points my life with shocking accuracy. I won't be discussing the content because it's quite heavy. This books seems to be aiming at psychologists because each part has a chapter for therapists. It also has a European color, especially German. Outside of these parts, I felt that the book was talking directly to me.
I like the condensed quality of the book. Written in the 80s, when each sentence is to be digested. Books published today generally have larger volumes of repetitive concepts. I'd much prefer to read and digest one inspirational sentence at a time, and revisit frequently.
update:
Since Alice Miller has passed away, her website no longer gets updated with new emails from readers, I'll write down some of the awakenings I found reading the book. A lot of buried memories started to come back and a lot of my strange behaviors are starting to make sense. They all rooted in childhood.
- I have a life long yearning for freedom that I never could explain.
- I have impossibly high standards for myself in terms of achievements and strength. I can't stand to be anywhere near the weak or the stupid.
- I don't have non-productive hobbies. My activities are all "useful." e.g. I don't read fictions.
- I have an extraordinary high tolerance for pain starting from early childhood. I remember as a pre-teen I fell playing basketball and got a patch of bloody road rash on my knee. I vividly remember being terrified because I ripped my brand new jeans, not because of the blood and open wound. Also, I never understood why people are afraid of dentists.
- I don't express any emotions, and most of the time I don't experience any emotions. Even in extreme circumstances. I never thought much of it until somebody told me that it isn't normal.
- Everything I do is, at the most basic level, a defensive mechanism. I know for years that I'm a master defender, which means I can un-arm most people within a minute or two, with all sorts of tactics, charm, humor, charisma, etc, etc. But I stay away from making connections with people.
- My entire adult dating life has been plaque with fear and anger of women. and severe depression.
Memories are starting to come in. New dreams, too. I started to realize how unreasonable my mother was when she demanded me not to cough nor sneeze when I was sick as a child, or she would beat me up. I never had a sick day until I went to boarding school at 16. I remember how I was proud of my being able to control my body to not cough or sneeze. It never occurred to me until now that this was an inhumane demand from my mother. I also started to realize how unreasonable and irresponsible she was to blame me for her bad marriage.
More and more facts are starting to flow from my deep subconscious. I am very thankful that I found this book. Thank you, Alice Miller, wherever you are.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
This book shows the way to get well from lifelong depression.
By Puddleducks
One of the most helpful books I've ever read, for people suffering from depression and anxiety. Alice Miller doesn't play around, or mince words when she explains in no uncertain terms, how and why just about anyone with lifelong depression got that way. This book has such insight and wisdom, that people in their twenties just might not "get it"--I know I didn't, and neither did one of my friends. But after running into all kinds of walls, in terms of trying to get well, I rediscovered this book and found that it describes the one and only way to get well, and it's not a quick fix, and it's not something a person can do without emotions. It's a journey. This is one of the few books to show the map to the treasure--the treasure being wellness, and getting rid of the false self and discovering one's true self.
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